Zargonia
–The Planet–
Zelek, Zarn and Zelk are the proper names of these three planets, but for all intents and purposes they are simply Zargonian One, Two and Three (respectively).
The Zargonians themselves were the ones to start calling their three homes by a numeral rather than a number and eventually the rest of the universe caught up.
Each planet has a similar ecosystem, relatively swampy. Zargonia Three is closest to the sun and is the driest and warmest of the two (something Zargonians have come to appreciate).
Recently the third planet has become the political seat of the empire.
The first planet is uninhabitable due to extensive use of fossil fuels and nuclear accidents.
–Physical Appearance–
Zargonians are one of the more distinctive of the GASP races, possessing short bodies with no discernable limbs and tentacles for mobility.
They are supported by an amniotic fluid that suspends their organs and other important body parts, as well as protecting them from harm. Their bodies have an incredible regeneration rate, nothing short of a fatal injury will heal itself in a matter of hours.
It’s been discovered that when a Zargonian baby’s egg-sac is exposed to various forms of ultraviolet light their skin color can change drastically, resulting in everything from rainbows to opaque.
Zargonians see shades of grey and red only, so they rarely care for the uniqueness of their skin tones.
Oddly enough they have no discernable brain, instead their entire bodies function as a conductor for higher mental functions.
Essentially the species is a giant brain with eyes and a mouth.
To protect their intelligence a Zargonian’s body automatically shifts portions of the neurons to other places when injured.
This ability to manipulate their thought centers have been cultivated and many can do this on demand.
They need to be careful when doing this, however, if a Zargonian dedicates too much of their bodies to thinking they can shut down their unconscious activities, such as digestion or breathing.
Zargonians have also evolved the ability to generate limbs on demand. With practice they are capable of extending their bodies into arms and hands complete with fingers.
–Early History and Early Culture–
Before the creation of the ‘Zargonian Foundation of Mutual History’ their history is riddled with inaccuracies because every Zargonian has a different opinion of history…and they all have very convincing evidence in their favor.
Generally anything before the last three hundred years is a shaky. They generally agree that there were several industrial and nuclear revolutions.
Zargonians were divided into factions that varied depending on birthplace and belief system, but interestingly they never saw any open warfare after the first two or three industrial revolutions.
Instead they fought cold-wars, and each faction developed bigger and better technology while they threatend the other factions with utter annihilation.
Generally Zargonians say that there were three major cold-wars on their planet, but again, there are those that insist that there was only one cold-war…just a really long one.
With countless nuclear tests and extensive mining for the sake of building up their stockpile it became apparent the species had not only bled the planet dry but had managed to render most of the air and water putrid.
Faced with extinction the Zargonian people turned their eyes to the sky and in 1760 the Zargonians finally achieved short range space flight… one hundred years after the rest of the universe.
Zargonians had been so obsessed with trying to killing each other they had completely forgot about anything extraterrestrial.
Before leaving their planet the Zargonians decided it was about time to stop all the stockpiling of weapons and called their cold-war a tie (it was the only way to stop the arguing).
The people of Zargonia achieved deep space flight in 1800, at the exact same time as the rest of the universe, despite being so far behind actually getting off their own planet.
Faced with peace the species had nothing better to do than throw themselves into developing space travel.
The first Zargonian ship that the Airosians found was mistaken for a pile of space debris because it was cobbled together quickly and was never meant to go more than a few light-years away from the planet.
The captain, however, had made several improvements to the vessel in midflight and had decided to really open her up to see what she could do.
The craft was never named because the Zargonians had already moved onto the next project and hadn’t bothered to think about a proper moniker.
It was simply called ‘ship’ by the crew.
To this day Ship is in a museum on Zargonia under the title ‘The Spaceship Ship’…most Zargonians don’t get the joke.
–The War–
With the outbreak of war Zargonians found themselves returning to their original love: building things that explode.
Initially the Kayooshen attempted to get the industrious little iron mongers on his side, but found that the chances of dragging the species away from an organization it not only founded but also carried a great deal of power with was impossible.
Reluctantly the KC left the Zargonians to GASP.
Zargonians quickly began inventing everything from the paralytic liquid the ZPF use in their GOOP guns to missiles capable of being shot from deep orbit with such precision that they could eliminate a four foot area with no collateral damage.
Some Zargonians work for The Brotherhood for the money and because The Kayooshen puts no ethical restrictions on his workforce, unlike GASP.
In recent years there have been several treaties between the two superpowers to restrict the use and development of weapons of mass destruction (much to Zargonian’s disappointment; where’s the harm in a few bombs that can snuff out a sun?).
–Current Events–
Zargonians are ruled by a monarchy, with each successive ruler descended from the previous.
Some argue that this is hypocritical since the Zargonians are the biggest supporters of a democratically elected president.
The Zargonians disagree.
No one knows why they disagree, but they do.
Zargonians are not only in charge of GASP finances but are also responsible for designating space flight routes.
The reason is because in 1974 the Universe achieved ‘Molecular jump drive capabilities’ which has shortened the amount of time it takes to travel the universe by more than half.
The project was made up of dozens of different species and funded through GASP, but most of the credit for the engines go to the physicist HebOgonis (Zog and Mog’ grandfather).
GASP has learned that arguing with a Zargonian is like beating your head into a wall.
A wall that can focus its entire surface into neurons dedicated to destroying your argument and making you look like an idiot.
